Lessons I’ve Learned While Blogging – Learn to Love Yourself

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If you ever want to start a blog, it can be LOTS of fun.  Blogging can be an outlet, it can be a venue for many different things.  It can even, in some rare cases, make you some money!  I’ve been actively running websites and blogs now for nearly 4 years and so I thought I’d write a 10 part series on what I’ve learned!!  This week, it’s all about being self worth.

It’s so easy, when blogging, to be hard on yourself.  It’s also easy to hate.  I think hating is very easy.  It’s much harder to love something because it requires a genuine attitude change.  Loving yourself is hard.  Most people are their worst critics and I am no exception.  Blogging and being online has taught me a lot about myself.  What I like least, what I like most, what I hate most.  I tend to focus, when analyzing myself, on the negative.  I always dwell on the mistakes and fail to celebrate the success.

One day I was having a bit of a hard time, people were saying mean things about me, and I thought to myself, why am I doing this.  I’m no super model, I’m ugly, fat, I’ve got so many chins I’ve lost count, maybe they are right.  Maybe I should just go into a hole, get on a diet, starve myself so I weigh a buck twenty, and never come out.  For men, it can be hard to share feelings even with their wives.  It’s hard to express the sense of worthlessness.  I think everyone goes through it.

Sometimes it’s tied to your job, sometimes to family, whatever it is, we find our value in other things.  I looked to everything and everyone else for myself worth and I suffered for it.  I found rejection.  I realized one day that I need to reevaluate my priorities in life.  Blogging is hard.  It looks easy, but it’s like most things worth doing in life, it’s hard.  It’s especially hard because you are allowing people to attack you because you put yourself out there.  If you write something down in your journal, no one cares.  But put it on the internet, someone might.  The bigger you get the more people care.  The more license they have to attack, belittle and hurt you.  My wife asked me a fundamental question when we were having a discussion about it.

She asked me who was truly important in my life. 

What a profoundly simple question.  Who is truly important.  You see, I was giving people who meant nothing to me a say in how I felt about myself!  I gave some jerk who hides behind a computer leverage in my life and marriage.  Why was I doing that?

That question helps center me to this day.  Who matters?  Bloggers, trust me when I say that it’s not many people in your life.  You could live without most of them.  My God, my family and a few friends truly matter to me.  People write some nasty things about me, attack me, and are very mean to me and you know what I do, ignore them.  You see, they want to hurt me for whatever reason.  They want to matter, they want to inflict pain on you.  People are often very mean.  But my father said this to me long ago, and I doubt it’s an original quote but he said, ‘It’s better to be loved or hated, than ignored.’

I am happier now than I have been in years because I discovered something so basic.  If my wife loves me, if my beautiful little girl loves me, if my parents and family love me, than I’m okay.  I. am. worthy!  Nasty comments and mean words do very little to me anymore.  When chatting with a close friend in the blogging word I told her that ‘the meanies are like mosquito’s, they may leave a little bump, but generally you crush them or they fly away unnoticed.’

Remember to find love and worth from the things that truly matter to you.  Don’t find your self worth from traffic, stats, income, comments or anything else.  I tried for years and was miserable, and now I can truly say I’m happy.  I’m not satisfied with every little detail, but I really do love me and that’s what matters!

Lessons I’ve Learned While Blogging is a 10 Part series.  Next week’s article discusses why Perception is Reality.

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  1. Your quote reminded me of one I heard many, many years ago. “It’s better to be hated for who you are, than to be loved for who you are not.”

    Great blog post :)

  2. Martin48 says:

    Nathan – I’ve been coming to this website for a year now and I greatly appreciate all you have done to share with others the many ways you are able to save money and live frugally.  You’ve been an inspiration to me and I admire you.  I would never have imagined that you ever had critics.  It looks like you’ve got a great support system and good advice from family and friends.  Congratulations on all of your success.  You deserve it.

  3. Taylorkarenian says:

    Wow, this post really hit home in so many ways.  Why do we let people that don’t really matter have such a powerful impact on our lives.  I’m going to save this post so I can refer back to it,  I know I will again and again…  Thanks, Nathan.  You’re terrific!!

  4. Wow, many thanks for the words of wisdom from you and your wife both.  Really hit the nail on the head here and after I am done wiping my tears and thanking you and your wife I will take all this to heart and start applying it to myself.  I am so glad I came across your site and look forward to being a member for years to come.  Keep up the great work, this one woman team here appreciates your hard work!!

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