Lessons I’ve Learned While Blogging – Even Big Bloggers are Insecure

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If you ever want to start a blog, it can be LOTS of fun.  Blogging can be an outlet, it can be a venue for many different things.  It can even, in some rare cases, make you some money!  I’ve been actively running websites and blogs now for nearly 4 years and so I thought I’d write a 10 part series on what I’ve learned!!  This week, it’s all about our insecurities. 

In my life I have found that most people are insecure about something.  Whether it’s weight, height, education or something else, most of us, well alright nearly none of us look like the magazine models that need to eat a few sandwiches.  We get self conscious very easily.  Even MEN feel this way.  (Ladies trust me when I say that guys rarely admit it).  A skinny minnie (no offense to the pleasantly slender beauty’s we have here ;) ) walks around and you wonder if your guy is taking a peak.  These real life scenarios play out online all the time.  Did you know that your favorite blogger’s biggest fear (regardless of the size of their blog) is generally a camera.  Weight and appearance is the NUMBER ONE insecurity that the majority bloggers have (especially mom bloggers).  Many bloggers, for fear of what they look like, don’t even post pictures of themselves in their ‘about me’ sections.

Many bloggers look to big bloggers and often times idolize them.  They seem to have it all together.  They are successful, they seem to be fearless and they seem to be…..secure.  Let me say, they may be fearless, they may have it all together, but deep down they have many insecurities.

I hate calling myself a big blogger.  I would say I’m getting there and don’t even know if I’ll arrive.  IF I ever arrive, I probably won’t realize it either, but I do, on occasion, chat with influential bloggers.  Trust me when I say that the bloggers that seem to have it all going on are just as insecure as you are.  I am going to share some of my insecurities with you because although I haven’t conquered them, I have to face them daily.

I am terrified of the camera.  It’s ironic that I, a guy who has done many things in front of the camera including an active YouTube channel, am afraid of the camera!  I get nervous about what people will think!  I’m not a professional actor, I’ve never had a class.  I’m not a professional speaker and get nervous when I get on stage!  Why am I doing this again?!  Well the camera is a powerful medium to reach people.  My site is specifically about coupons, but we deliver so much more than that.  I believe in financial empowerment.  I want you to get control of your finances!!!  I believe in that message so deeply that I do thing that are out of my comfort zone.  You probably will get a kick out of this, but after I do a segment on TV, I absolutely refuse to watch it again.  I am to critical of myself.

My weight has always made me self conscious.  Even in high school, it made me self conscious.  Let’s face it, I’m not super model.  I’m not Brad Pitt.  I believe that everyone is beautiful because God made us.  Yea, that’s corny I know, but I do believe that.  Now does that mean I should hit the gym and strive to look like those people in magazines, no.  Does it mean I should strive to be healthy, absolutely.  I have a desire to lose weight, and I am trying, but the reality is that it’s much easier to gain than lose.  Letting my fears control me is not how I operate.  I refuse to let others dictate to me my self-worth based on my weight.  I absolutely refuse.  I know that I am over weight.  But saying, well I can’t be successful, I can’t post videos or photos of myself, I can’t do this or that because of my weight isn’t who I am.  But when I do those things, I understand that people will criticize me.  Those critics sting a little, because they play on that insecurity.  But I refuse to let critics dictate to my success! ;)

No one will read/watch my stuff.  Imagine spending hours writing a witty, thought provoking post about a certain topic.  You are so proud of it.  You even sent it to your friends before posting for their comments.  Everyone said it was fantastic, so you post it, and no one even comments.  That can be very hurtful to a blogger.  It’s hard to know why no one commented, but the second guessing always starts.  It creeps into your mind in so many different ways.  People read blogs all the time, and what I have to constantly remember is that everyone is different.  This series itself is not a frugal series.  In truth, I’m not sure how it’s going to go over!  I’m actually nervous writing it, but I know that although this series isn’t frugal in nature, it shares me.  It shares my struggles, and even if no one comments, even if no one reads it, I still shared.  I believe writing is therapeutic, it helps heal, encourage and inspire the WRITER.  It hopefully will inspire the readers too, but the writer is often times blessed even more richly.  We are giving of ourselves and even if no one takes it, we gave and that feels great!  So remember, focus on you!  Your content is you, and be proud that you got wrote it down, because most people won’t.

I don’t measure up.  I feel this way sometimes, more than I care to admit.  You get this feeling when you are on a fellow bloggers site and see they just got it goin’ on.  You see all these awesome features and these cool widgets and think, why would anyone visit my site when this site is so cool.  We constantly compare ourselves against our peers.  We do it in a variety of ways: traffic, comments, fans, followers even the design.  I have felt on more than one occasion that I just didn’t measure up.  Dealing with that difficult feeling is hard.  But remember this, every blogger goes through this.

Big or Small, most bloggers would be lying if they told you they never had these experiences.  I hang out with bloggers, I know bloggers and I know that deep down they are like everyone else, just trying to figure it all out.  This wild ride is like driving 100mph and trying to read a map.  Most would be lying if they say they have it all together.  Most are just as worried and just as insecure as you are.

Lessons I’ve Learned While Blogging is a 10 Part series.  Next week’s article touches on the Love of Blogging

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Comments

  1. well said

  2. Anonymous says:

    Wow! Thanks so much for sharing this! I guess that we all feel insecure about the things we do, even if we are successful! The way I try to look at my insecurities, well in most aspects of my life, is that those insecurities drive me to never settle but always strive to do better. Great post!

  3. Red_R says:

    Thank you for sharing. I have let you know that every morning when I wake up, I turn on my Nook (which is next to me on my bed) and the first thing I do is go on WUC. I like to read all your latest posts and it’s a great start to my day. I’m sure there are a lot of people who read your blog, but never comment, myself included. That doesn’t mean nobody’s out there. But I can imagine that’s how one would feel.
    About your YouTube channel, I think you’re fantastic. All your segments are informative, especially for novice coupon users. I find you engaging, enthusiastic and funny. I don’t think your insecurities ever show, quite the opposite, you show a geat deal of self-confidence, hey, you’re Mr.Coupon! You are fine just the way you are.
    Keep up the good work and looking forward to you next blog.

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