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Old 06-18-2013, 04:30 PM
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Default I Could Care Less About the Joneses

I wasn't sure where to put this thread, but I felt like it was more of a rant... So, here we go.

I consider myself to be an average person, easy to get along with, nice to everyone type of person. I've been married to my husband for 11 years and we have 3 boys, ages 6,9 and 16. We don't believe in overspending, even though occasionally it does happen. But, 9 times out of 10, when we go over budget, it's for essentials or unexpected bills.

My husband and I both have nice paying jobs, but we know for ourselves that we have many responsibilities and have had to scale back our spending. Which brings me to this rant.

I have not been able to purchase many new work clothes in several years (2 years). I've purchased a few pieces here and there, but I can count them on less than 10 fingers. But, i figure that I have plenty of nice pieces to last me until our budget loosens a little. New clothes for myself are just not a priority to me. I take good care of the clothes I presently have, and am able to still dress nice for work (Something taught to me by my dear mother). On the other hand, I work with people, a few in particular, that feel I should shop as much as they do, get my hair, toes and nails done every week. I've been there, done that, and became broke because of it. These ladies buy new outfits every week. I will admit, sometimes, I feel a little awkward, to over hear someone (bosses included) tell them, "Hey, I like that outfit!! Is it new?" But, I have to keep telling myself to look at the bigger picture. But I can't help but feel like their turning their noses up at me.

They make fun of how cheap I am and tell me that I never do anything for myself. They gasp at the fact that I clean my own clothes, clip coupons, shop for sale items, and bring my lunch everyday, among other things. Just yesterday, I found a $5 in my truck and was paying a bill after lunch and found a $20 in my check book! I was so excited and mentioned that I was going to rush home to put the $25 in our spare change bucket. They couldn't believe it and looked at me like I was crazy!!

This gets very disheartening at times, just knowing and listening to their thoughts of me. I hear the snide remarks they make about another co-worker, whom is having financial struggles, but to me, really seems to have a grip on her situation. For example, the lady came to work excited about the new sandals she had purchased over the weekend. Behind her back, other co-workers made ugly remarks about how the sandals looked like something their grandma would wear. I just wondered to myself, what kind of world are these people living in? I will say that the co-worker that bought the sandals has long-term goals to purchase a new home. And she's making strides to do so. For example she keeps her credit cards paid off every month, and will rarely use them, even if it's for an emergency. I'm proud of her for that, and I always tell her so... In front of the others!

We're outgrowing our present home. Our goal is to one day put a nice-sized down payment on a new house. At some point, I would love to live off of one income, while we stash the other income into a savings account. Our ultimate goal is to be debt-free. We often talk about the wonderful possibility of being able to pay cash for a house and only worry about utilities. I'm not counting that idea out, because I know with God's help, anything is possible. We just have a lot of work ahead of us.

Sometimes it gets so hard to stay focused when you're surrounded by people that are so different from you (another reason I just LOVE Wuccies!) I just have to keep reminding myself that one day my dedication is going to really payoff.

Has anyone ever had to deal with a situation similar to this? Sometimes, being around my co-workers makes me feel so lowly. I would be interested in hearing how you dealt with the situation.
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Old 06-18-2013, 04:36 PM
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If you respond to their comments, you're letting them win. Just smile and ignore their criticisms. Many women are petty and shallow. If it wasn't that, it would be something else. I heard this on Mad Men: If you don't like what they're saying, change the conversation.

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Old 06-18-2013, 04:47 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Roxykitty
If you respond to their comments, you're letting them win. Just smile and ignore their criticisms. Many women are petty and shallow. If it wasn't that, it would be something else. I heard this on Mad Men: If you don't like what they're saying, change the conversation.
Great advice. Thank you :-)
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Old 06-18-2013, 05:02 PM
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Are you making the right decisions for you? Yes -- then own them and feel proud. No one can make these decisions for you and besides one day they might wake up and realize that they haven't saved for retirement or they have large credit card bills. But even if they don't the true question is -- are you happy with your decisions. If the answer is yes, then let their remarks roll off your back and move on.

I would probably not bring up finances/shopping or anything that involves money with them, though. I would just smile when they are talking in the office and not add to their conversation. Your words will be lost on them.

I think you are the smart one.

We go on vacation almost every summer. Now I am not saying it isn't a splurge, but we plan for it financially and we don't do extravagant. But none the less nearly every year we rent a beach house and go for a week to the beach. While there, we almost NEVER eat out. We make all our meals in staying on budget. We also rarely do other money suckers (like go carts, etc.) Many times over the years I have had people tell me how they wished they could do this. My response is always -- Well you can if you wanted to. While you go out to eat weekly or spend money on stuff at the convenience store or on cigarettes, etc. I save for vacation. This is a planned expense and we cut in other ways so we can do it. Many of those same people still don't go on vacation. Some people will never get it. I wouldn't worry about it.

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Old 06-18-2013, 05:07 PM
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I dress the way I want in what makes me happy. I dont care what others feel about where I buy my clothes
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Old 06-18-2013, 05:16 PM
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Originally Posted by couponer100 View Post
I dress the way I want in what makes me happy. I dont care what others feel about where I buy my clothes
Ditto!

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Old 06-18-2013, 05:17 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mtnmamamj
Are you making the right decisions for you? Yes -- then own them and feel proud. No one can make these decisions for you and besides one day they might wake up and realize that they haven't saved for retirement or they have large credit card bills. But even if they don't the true question is -- are you happy with your decisions. If the answer is yes, then let their remarks roll off your back and move on.

I would probably not bring up finances/shopping or anything that involves money with them, though. I would just smile when they are talking in the office and not add to their conversation. Your words will be lost on them.

I think you are the smart one.

We go on vacation almost every summer. Now I am not saying it isn't a splurge, but we plan for it financially and we don't do extravagant. But none the less nearly every year we rent a beach house and go for a week to the beach. While there, we almost NEVER eat out. We make all our meals in staying on budget. We also rarely do other money suckers (like go carts, etc.) Many times over the years I have had people tell me how they wished they could do this. My response is always -- Well you can if you wanted to. While you go out to eat weekly or spend money on stuff at the convenience store or on cigarettes, etc. I save for vacation. This is a planned expense and we cut in other ways so we can do it. Many of those same people still don't go on vacation. Some people will never get it. I wouldn't worry about it.
I'm happy with my decisions, but there's always that one moment of self pity. Your words help me keep everything in perspective.

It's so funny that you mention your beach vacation, because the co-worker that bought the new sandals always goes to Florida during the summer with her family. She saves for it the year before. She considers this to be her splurge and huge treat for the family. I love hearing her talk about it. I listened to another co-worker ( the biggest shopper) complain about how she's still waiting on her tax refund to be processed, so she that she can attend a concert out of state next month. A couple of months back, she was waiting to hear back from the bank to see if they were approved for a loan they needed to pay sales tax on their new suv. Huge differences in decision making.

Thanks again for your encouragement.
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Old 06-18-2013, 05:18 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by couponer100
I dress the way I want in what makes me happy. I dont care what others feel about where I buy my clothes
Thank you :-)
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Old 06-18-2013, 05:19 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Roxykitty
If you respond to their comments, you're letting them win. Just smile and ignore their criticisms. Many women are petty and shallow. If it wasn't that, it would be something else. I heard this on Mad Men: If you don't like what they're saying, change the conversation.
Very awesome advice! I don't share with many people how cheap or should I say frugal I am and they would be surprised. About the clothes- I not only buy my clothes pretty much only on clearance I get them from Marshall's, Burlington, Ross, etc. but you wouldn't know it I smile about the fact that I will have money in the bank and a nice stockpile lol who cares how you shop? I would just stop sharing certain details with those petty gals.
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Old 06-18-2013, 05:26 PM
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Those co-workers are shallow + bad manners + mean-spirited!
You are kind and a smart shopper, the budget saving measures is a skill many people never take seriously or take the time to acquire. Same goes for having good social skills and good manners, those co workers are jealous of everyone and everything, all they can do is bad mouth others in the hopes of uplifting their own little self! Btw - you really do have "more" than these shallow folks will ever have in Life. Hugs!

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