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  post #11  
Old 12-24-2015, 09:41 AM
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Originally Posted by moonshadow8679 View Post
Bless you hon! Have you reached out to local help (Salvation Army, etc?) they may can give y'all a hand. How old are the boys? I shall keep you in my prayers. I think we've traded before if you need any qs or anything like that shoot me a pm I'll brainstorm on some ideas for y'all.

Thank you...I have reached out to the county and since my oldest has a full-time job we are over the limit for a three person family to get any assistance. They don't care that he has $90,000 in college debt going out - they just care what is coming into the house for income.
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  post #12  
Old 12-24-2015, 09:47 AM
davesgirl davesgirl is offline
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Originally Posted by Philly_Girl View Post
Make him officially file an eviction which will give you at least 90 days to move. Not fair to put you & your children out in 1 week. Look into common law marriage in your state to see if it applies & entitled to any benefits. Prayers for you & your sons.

KARMA is real & they both will get theirs.

Cry if you want/need to. Sunshine (happiness)comes after the rain (tears).

The eviction was delivered to me by a processor from his lawyer. Yep, he is being so hateful he is doing this all by the books. He is a State Trooper so he knows the law and is following everything to a "T". I actually got the eviction a few weeks ago and have been looking since then. Unfortunately, there is no common law in NYS. And I am a firm believer in karma. His parents have made the same statement regarding that. Thank you for your prayers...
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Old 12-24-2015, 09:48 AM
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I agree with the others - let December 31st come and go. He is being a bully and thinks that the "June Cleaver" in you will just naively pack up and sit on the curb if you haven't make arrangements. I agree with embarrassing him in some way - he is a dog, well, lower than a dog and deserves that same treatment back in kind.

Prayers being sent for you.
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Old 12-24-2015, 09:50 AM
davesgirl davesgirl is offline
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Originally Posted by emmakate7 View Post
Philly_Girl said exactly what I wanted to say. You may be entitled to way more than you think. I know it is hard to see now but you really dodged a bullet with him. It does not say much for his character and you deserve so much more. Hugs to you!

Yes, right now I am still so devastated and blindsided that dodging a bullet is a difficult thing to understand right now. I know deep down that you are right, it's just that I have loved this man (if I can even call him that) for so long and planned a lifetime with him. And he has never even said he was sorry since this
has happened. He is a coward. Thanks for the hugs......
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Old 12-24-2015, 09:53 AM
davesgirl davesgirl is offline
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Originally Posted by neenee05 View Post
I just looked up NY. Common law marriage is not recognized in your state, unless you moved their from another state that recognizes common law marriages. Do you have any family nearby that might help you out?

My parents paid for me to see a lawyer and he said I have no rights to anything since we are not married legally. My family is in Maine and his parents are about
two hours away in a different part of New York.
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  post #16  
Old 12-24-2015, 09:59 AM
davesgirl davesgirl is offline
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Originally Posted by corear View Post
I am so sorry this happened to you. I know you are probably devastated right now. I was also wondering if you have any family close by that might could help you out a little?

Thank you...his family lives within two hours and they are disgusted with him. They spoke to him when I first called them to let them know what happened. They told him that he is a grown man and has made unacceptable decisions and that they will be helping me and the boys in any way they can. And haven't spoken to him since. They are very family-oriented people and cannot understand where this is coming from.
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  post #17  
Old 12-24-2015, 10:02 AM
davesgirl davesgirl is offline
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Originally Posted by Jadedmonkey View Post
Please tell me that you have some sort of "official " Mail than comes there in your name, if so that should be all you need to establish residency and then he should have to go through the court system to evict you, meaning at least an extra 90 days to find a new place.

Unfortunately, he is a state trooper and has already made sure to do everything
legally and by the books. He is treating me as a tenant, according to the eviction notice. 11 years of love and devotion to this person, and he is calling me his tenant.
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Old 12-24-2015, 10:14 AM
davesgirl davesgirl is offline
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Originally Posted by ConfusedBeginner View Post
You can make some quickish cash on Amazon Mechanical Turk, just check out reddit's Hits Worth Turking for to get started. Bing has a reward system that is super easy but doesn't pay as much. There are tons of side hustle options. Let me know if you need any help getting started! Check out realwaystoearnmoneyonline.com for other opportunities. I've done a lot of the work at home gigs when my family was ill and I had to stop working outside the home in order to care for them. I eventually went back to my old job but the online stuff kept me sane and financially stable when I needed it. Writing is my number one suggestion followed by Amazon Turk and tutoring.

Can you file for emergency food stamps? How about Medicaid?

Do you need any codes or coupons? PM if you do and I'll send you some.

Did he use your credit card to pay for the other lady? It would be fab if he left some sort of money trail proof. Was your name on anything? Do you have a canceled check or bill that will show you paid for something in that house? It might help.

You might contact your state's legal aid group to see about other options.

I'm so sorry this happened. Talk about lousy timing! What does his family think? Can you rough up his reputation? Especially since you've been together for so long and you have children that he was helping to raise even if not biologically his. I'd let it slip to his boss, to his family, to anyone who can apply pressure that he's kicking you all out on the street. All that could put you in a better position to negotiate your living situation and allow you to get some help.

Thank you for all of the great ideas. I will probably take you up on the offer to get started on those side gigs. Right now my head is spinning. We have no credit cards (everything is paid for by cash) and the only money trail is through his bank account, which I have never had access to. Total June Cleaver. I had to
ask for money for groceries or any necessaries. He never withheld money, I just never had access to it on my own. I have contacted Legal Aid as well as a lawyer and they both said the same thing. Too bad....you aren't married so you have no rights to anything and he has the right to make you leave the home. His family is 100% on my side (not that I want them to have to do that) and has recently helped me monetarily to help us as much as they can. His bosses are aware of the situation. And since "INTEGRITY" is the motto for their organization, I made sure that I told his superior "Isn't integrity what you people stand for? Does THIS man have integrity??" I don't think that he liked hearing that. And the ex is also
messing up at his job as well so I think that karma is already rearing it's ugly head.
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  post #19  
Old 12-24-2015, 10:17 AM
davesgirl davesgirl is offline
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Originally Posted by CaliforniaGrannyof2 View Post
Stay strong and know that I am PRAYING for you & your boys! I too am really sorry to hear that this has happened to you........I agree as it has already been stated, I believe you may be entitled to more than you think. Make every minute count in letting EVERYONE know what kind of person he really is and the fact he's now attempting to have you all put out of the home you shared.......always remember that........GOD TAKES CARE OF HIS CHILDREN, HE WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU!!!!!
Thank you so much for your prayers. I pray every day for God to help me through this. And I am writing down your quote to carry with me...thank you.
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  post #20  
Old 12-24-2015, 10:20 AM
davesgirl davesgirl is offline
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Originally Posted by bueltoby View Post
How about 'palimony' ? Legal aid may be able to help you with an eviction fight - I worked for them for several years and NEVER saw a tenant or mortgage payor leave without their permission.
Thank you...I have contacted Legal Aid is there is nothing they can do for me since we are not married. NY does not have common law marrage or palimony, unfortunately.
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