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  post #21  
Old 12-24-2015, 09:27 AM
davesgirl davesgirl is offline
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Originally Posted by fidder View Post
I agree with the others - let December 31st come and go. He is being a bully and thinks that the "June Cleaver" in you will just naively pack up and sit on the curb if you haven't make arrangements. I agree with embarrassing him in some way - he is a dog, well, lower than a dog and deserves that same treatment back in kind.

Prayers being sent for you.
After speaking with different legal counsels, I was advised to follow the eviction notice because if brought to court they would side with him, as my name is not on any paperwork and we are not married. They said it would only buy me 72 hours then the sheriff's department would be knocking on my door and MAKING me leave. And this is a small rural area where we live and where he works. This information has gone through places like wildfire, considering the fact that he is suppose to be an upstanding citizen and someone that is suppose to be respected. And I haven't even said a word to anyone but our families. Guess news like that travels fast on its own. Thanks so much for the prayers..
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  post #22  
Old 12-24-2015, 11:16 AM
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I hate to see anyone in this position especially around the holidays.
The risk you take by just living with someone, for 11 years no less, is that when it ends you are in a bad spot. Woman need to be wiser especially when children are involved.
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Old 12-24-2015, 01:22 PM
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I just wanted to say Merry Christmas sweetheart and don't let him beat you by stealing your joy! You may not believe it but you will be ok and possibly, like myself, find comfort in my dogs and gave up on being hurt by others.

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Old 12-24-2015, 04:56 PM
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I live in NY too, maybe it's different cuz of municipalities (I'm in NYC), but the court is always on tenants side. Perhaps u should try counsel outside of ur rural town to the closest larger city to see if u receive the same advisement. As long as u have lived there 60 days, he cannot just evict you. Between the paperwork and court dates it could ake closer to a year. My cuzin had a tenant that stopped paying rent, would miss court dates and this carried on for close to a year at which point the judges order was she had like 48 hours to vacate or pay the 1 1/2 years back due rent. Needless to say she left, after trashing the place.

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Originally Posted by davesgirl View Post
After speaking with different legal counsels, I was advised to follow the eviction notice because if brought to court they would side with him, as my name is not on any paperwork and we are not married. They said it would only buy me 72 hours then the sheriff's department would be knocking on my door and MAKING me leave. And this is a small rural area where we live and where he works. This information has gone through places like wildfire, considering the fact that he is suppose to be an upstanding citizen and someone that is suppose to be respected. And I haven't even said a word to anyone but our families. Guess news like that travels fast on its own. Thanks so much for the prayers..

Last edited by LISHA; 12-24-2015 at 05:02 PM.. Reason: Correcting autocorrect
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Old 12-24-2015, 05:05 PM
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I am so sorry you are having to deal with all this.

Thanks everyone for being so supportive and giving such great advice.

I can do all things through Christ, because he gives me strength. Phil 4:13


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Old 12-24-2015, 08:39 PM
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Hindsight is 20/20. Hopefully u learned your lesson and wont make that mistake again. Make sure ur name is on everything. I earned that before I even graduated HS.Don't let a man make you have to ask for everything. You're a grown woman not a child. If they start controlling you this way who knows how else they'll eventually start controlling you.And yeah I hear ya about the college debt of your son. Welfare office doesnt care if you have debt. You can always default on loans and bills and use that money for living necessites. Been in the same situation before and feel where you are coming from. Hubby made to much but the bills were not being paid.

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Old 12-25-2015, 12:22 AM
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How on earth can a state trooper afford a stay at home wife and kids, a lawyer, and a girlfriend that he moves into a new apartment? That's a ton of expensive costs on a state trooper's salary. It's not adding up unless he comes from a wealthy family and they are helping him or he's doing something illegal.

Would legal aid help you fight the eviction? It would buy you some time at least. Can your oldest kiddo move into college housing instead so his salary won't count? If the govt. won't help, try local churches and food pantries and such. If nothing else someone might help you secure a job or let you know of an affordable place to rent.

We must have been watching different programs b/c I always thought June Cleaver ran that household and everyone in it like a boss! Their world would end w/o June.
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Old 12-25-2015, 03:53 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ConfusedBeginner View Post
How on earth can a state trooper afford a stay at home wife and kids, a lawyer, and a girlfriend that he moves into a new apartment? That's a ton of expensive costs on a state trooper's salary. It's not adding up unless he comes from a wealthy family and they are helping him or he's doing something illegal.

Would legal aid help you fight the eviction? It would buy you some time at least. Can your oldest kiddo move into college housing instead so his salary won't count? If the govt. won't help, try local churches and food pantries and such. If nothing else someone might help you secure a job or let you know of an affordable place to rent.

We must have been watching different programs b/c I always thought June Cleaver ran that household and everyone in it like a boss! Their world would end w/o June.
Her first problem is she was NOT his wife.
Where is the father of the kids?
He needs to start paying for his kids now that the boyfriend is no longer footing all the bills.
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Old 12-25-2015, 04:07 PM
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Where is the father of the kids?
He needs to start paying for his kids now that the boyfriend is no longer footing all the bills.
We don't know that he isn't. The OP never claimed there was a deadbeat dad or something.

I didn't mean to call her a stay at home wife. I see your point.
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Old 12-25-2015, 05:21 PM
davesgirl davesgirl is offline
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There seems to be some confusion. My "kids" are older. The oldest is living at home at this time because due to his job he travels 6 months out of the year and it would be silly for him to pay for his own place right now when he is barely there. My youngest is a senior in college and will graduate in May 2016. Their father is not a deadbeat, he paid child support until they turned legal age. And it was not my choice to not be married to my ex-boyfriend.. He told me he didn't want to be married from day one and after falling in love with him, I was happy with the way we were. Had he asked me to marry him, I certainly would have. And as far as his salary, he makes VERY good money. New York State Troopers are the second highest paid troopers in the country. So he had more than enough money to be doing what he was doing, unfortunately. And yes, I will be more aware of my situations in the future.
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