I'm not sure if this was answered or not, but NO she will NEVER know that you did not leave her 5 stars. All she sees is the positive word feedback and an overall star rating for ALL of her transactions....

Feedback has gotten annoying that the buyer must leave feedback first (at least sellers expect this).... I as a seller ALWAYS leave feedback right after the buyer pays! That's what you're rating them on... not on them receiving the item or leaving you feedback. The seller should NEVER wait to receive to leave.

There actually is a way to detect what stars a buyer has left for you... but it only works if no one else gives fb at the same time. If you know where your stars are at, then one person leaves fb and stars, the stars are adjusted, so you can tell what they left.
When this whole fb crap changed, it was all over the ebay boards of how to tell what you got.
I was a seller, only buying a couple times over like 5 years. I stopped selling when they changed everything. Too much drama and blackmail for me.
I would wage it on what day the auction was paid for and when she mailed it, also including time times that the PO is closed, as to what fb I would leave, KWIM?
Good luck!
PS It did irk me when I was told to leave fb or they kept begging me to. I would leave it when the transaction was complete. But if they were begging for it before I even got my end, I wouldnt leave anything.

When I buy off of ebay if the seller does not leave feedback I will not give them any. I am also trying to get my feedback up. I always pay as soon as I win. So I feel like they should say something good about that if they dont they wont get feedback from me!

you don't have to give stars at all just give positive/negative/neutral feed back and skip the rest. I would not give 5 stars and I never give feedback till I receive my items

I Love Mom to Monica, Cory & Grammy to Zoey